Friday, May 13, 2011
Sure I'm under a lot of stress right now. I live in a never ending, open ended life plan as we are not sure when my father-in-law will pass away. Each week as I drive the 100 miles one way to go spend a couple of days with Mom and Dad, he looks more and more gaunt, and complains of feeling weaker all the time. He sleeps most of the day now, and is in such pain that we just don't know how he stands it. He gets dressed every morning though, with a lot of trouble due to severe arthritis, and will try and do things such as water the lawn, take out the trash, and so on. Sometimes he looks as if he will collapse and we are amazed at how he keeps going. So hubby and I take turns tending to them, he goes in on the weekends and sometimes I go as well, and trying to keep Mom from doing things she will regret as she doesn't see very well and hears even less. I've put in a garden for them and us, and it gives Dad something to tend to in that he makes sure the little Parson's Patch is watered.
When I'm home my job, besides tending the twins 3 days a week is to help keep hubby's spirits up. His job is tremendously stressful, and while he doesn't dump all his problems on me, he is not a very happy camper right now and that wears on me because I hate to see him so frustrated with the mountain of work he has in trying to clean up a school that has been let go for over 10 years now. Add to that trying to keep up with children and grandchildren, church responsibilities and such, it gets so crazy I can't concentrate on the commission I have to finish, much less any other art. If you're like me a messy house is a downer and adds to all that. Right now I feel like a boat without a rudder, directionless and wandering aimlessly adrift. That must be the reason for the dream because I'm actually ready for the show and can't wait to head to Oregon. Thank goodness I get to stay home this weekend! All will work out I know, but it's funny how dreams happen.